4 days and counting.....

We start back to school on the 16th. I actually have to spend the day Monday in meetings. The kids don't start until Wednesday. I'm sure The Girl already feels like school has started. She has been getting up early to be at band at 7:30 the past two weeks. It's going to be a real shock to the boys to have to get out of bed before noon. Even harder will be getting them to bed before midnight. Yes , I know we should keep up with some sort of routine during the summer, but, ya know, I just don't want too. We all stay up late, we all sleep in. It's just the way we do things around here. I'm sure if I had a real job and actually had to work all summer things would be different. But for now I'm enjoying my time with the kids, and who cares if that means we stay up late watching movies, and sometimes we eat dinner at 10 pm.

I went by the school today. The teacher I work with was finally there. I had been watching for her car. I went by to offer help getting the room ready. She hardly ever accepts my help outside my regualar hours. She says I don't get paid enough as it is, I don't need to be working and not getting paid. I don't mind, I like hanging out with her, and what ever we can get done now is less I have to do while we've got kids in the classroom. From the sounds of it, we are going to have a large class this year. With several new kids who aren't used to our routine. It should be interesting. I have also heard rumors that we will no longer be allowed to take recess away from kids. This is not a good thing. I don't know what else we have to hang over their heads. We also have a few kids who just can't handle recess. This all goes back to so many children being overweight, they don't want us taking any time they might actually be active. I can understand that part of it, but I think it's still a good thing to be able to take it away if the child's behavior is not what it should be.

I still have not finished the corners on Boy 2's quilt. I just can't work up the motivation. Pretty soon I'm going to have to get it done or put it away. Every time I see it sitting there I feel like it's taunting me....lol.

All the children are away for the night. Boy 2 took and friend to his dad's. The Girl and Boy 1 are both with friends. I should be doing something fun with my time, and yet here I am in front of the computer. I need to get a life!!

not much to say

Okay, so I didn't finish the quilt top, I'm still frustrated with the corners. I plan to finish today. I also have a few little bags I need to get done. I have a lot of stuff I had hoped to get done before it was time to go back to work. Not sure I will have time to get to them all.

Boy 2 had football practice last night, good thing they aren't using full pads yet, as he still does not have any. They worked hard last night, he came home and went right to sleep and slept for 12 hours, not normal for him.

Boy 1 gets his equipment on Mon. and has his first practice on Tues. He is looking forward to it. I'm about to go pick up his class schedule, I hope he is on the same team of teachers that The Girl had, they were a great group of people.

I can't believe how hot is has been here, I think we are going on about 20 days of over 100 degrees. I hope it cools off at least a little bit before school starts next week, I don't think it's going to happen, but it doesn't hurt to hope.

Today is my Dad's birthday, how sad is it that I can't remember how old he is. He will be either 59 or 60.

grrrrr

I'm so sick and tired of fighting with my ex about things he said he would do and hasn't done. And yet I don't know why I'm surprised, it's not like it's anything new, been going on for nearly 17 years now. One of the many many things he said he would do is to buy Boy 2 new shoulder pads this season. The pads he had last year were used already, and in pretty bad shape. We weren't sure if he was going to stick with it so we didn't invest in new pads last year. But for the past several months the ex has said he would get him pads. Practice starts next week and still no pads. The claim is that there just isn't enough money right now, I could understand that if it weren't for the fact that he bought a new Xbox this weekend. I guess there just isn't enough money to spend on his kids, but plenty to go around for the GF's kid. If I had the money I would glady get the pads, but of course, I'm not getting any child support and have had to file for food stamps, perhaps of the lowest points in my life. I have just a little left of my summer paychecks which has to last until we get paid in Sept. oh well, such is life.

on the agenda for tomorrow is to find some sort of free legal help. I am tired of waiting on the ex, well soon to be ex, to come up with the divorce papers. He told me months ago that his friend Louis (jack of all things) was doing them. He brought me a rough draft and told me if it was all okay he would get them filed. Well all was not okay, first off he didn't have any of the kids dob's correct, he even had one of their names wrong, was he even around the last 14 years???? Second of all, when it comes to the part about child support it says, "neither party has requested child support" WTF???? I told him there was no way in hell I was signing anything like that, his response, "you know I'll always be here for you when you need me" Yeah right, I guess that's why you are living with your GF have a great time playing house, and your kids and I are eating beans and cornbread everynight. What an ass.

Okay, enough ranting for today, tomorrow I have something better to blog about....perhaps I can brag about finishing Boy 2's quilt....I'm having a heck of a time with the mittered corners...

what I wouldn't give for a good nights sleep...

For the past few weeks I have been totally unable to sleep at night. Doesn't matter how tired I am I just lay there. My mind is always going 100 miles an hour. The sad thing is that it's not even important things that are keeping me up, just stupid little trivial things...like what quilt patterns should I use to make quilts for two teachers at our school who will be having babies this year, or I wonder how many miles per gallon the car is getting, and how come the ex didn't change the oil in it once the year he was driving it. There are many many other things that race through my mind that of course now that I'm awake and could actually do something about them, I can't for the life of me remember them. But as soon as I try to sleep tonight they will be back....

here goes nothing

My first venture into the world of blogging...

A little about myself...I'm 36, in the middle of a divorce after nearly 17 years. I am joining the world of single mothers. I have three kids. The Girl who is 14 and will be starting high school in two weeks (ouch, how did that happen). She is in the marching band and is very excited about that. Boy 1 is 12, he will be in 7th grade. He is giving football a try this year. He wrestles and plays baseball, but has decided the girls like the football players best. Boy 2 will be 10 next month, he will be in 4th grade. He also plays football, this will be his second year. He, however, does not play to get the girls. He is big and tough and likes to hit people...lol. He is nearly as big as boy 1 and will surely pass him up this year or next.

I was married for nearly 17 years, yes that means I got married when I was 19. Not a great idea, I don't recommend it. Earlier this year my husband, ex I guess, decided that he liked the hot new manager in training at his resturant. It took me a while to figure it out....some times I'm a little slow. I totally bought his explaintion for suddenly taking 3 or 4 hours to close the store rather than the 1 to 2 it has taken for the past 5 years. I wasn't fazed when he started working out at the gym 30 miles from our house, after all, they had new and better equipment. He has now moved in with her and doing all the things we always talked about doing.

Because we got married so young I feel like I never really figured out who I was. I am now free to do that, hence the blog name. I've never lived on my own so this is really a whole new world for me. I guess I'm not really on my own now either, I've got the kids, but it's certainly a whole new ball game. The kids don't go stay with him, at least not all at the same time. The Girl has spent several weeks there this summer. I think she like the GF, she is young and cool and has a much better computer than I do. Plus they don't require The Girl to do anything, no chores, no room to clean, and they certainly don't make her practice her insterment. All the things a 14 year old wants, lol. Boy 1 refuses to go, he said he isn't comfortable having some one else play mom, and he doesn't want to deal with another little brother, (oh yeah, did I mention the GF has a kid?). I also think he is worried about how I'll feel if he goes there and has a good time. I've told him that I will never force him to go if he doesn't want to, and I'll never be upset if he decides to go. I think it's important for them to spend time out there. Boy 2 has spent a few nights there, in fact he is there now. It's the first time he has gone on his own, the other times The Girl was already out there. When his dad came to get him he deecided he didn't want to go, he started crying which upset the ex. It was very hard for me to stay out of it, in the end he decided to go. He will be home in the morning.

I do happpen to have some interests other than the kids. I love to quilt, I always have two or three projects going at once. In an attempt to make some friends I am even going to join the local quilting guild, the meeting is tomorrow night, after checking the clock, I guess the meeting is tonight...lol. I also love reading, much like quilting, I usually have two or three books going at once. I read mostly mystery/suspense thriller type of stuff. I especially enjoy stuff set in the southwest since that is where I grew up.

OK, well I think I've rambled on long enough...