Time Flies.....

yes...i realize I have not posted anything in over two years...at least that is what it looks like. I have in fact posted since then, of course it was at my other blog. The blog I started when I couldn't remember the name and password for this blog...yes, as a matter of fact, I am an idiot, thanks for asking. Anyway, as you can see I found this blog again. Thanks to my daughter for making it look pretty (it still needs a bit of work, but still, way cool, thanks!!) We thought we had transfered all the posts of my new blog over to this one, deleted the other, and then realized the posts hadn't moved here....oh well, we sure aren't missing anything.

I'm not even sure why I have this blog, I am not a writer, (as you can well see), I don't really have much to say, nor do I have the time, and yet here I am blogging...hehe. I had planned recording my journey from Married mom of three to divorced single mom of three but as it turns out that journey wasn't as eventful as one might think.

The ex and I actually get along better now. I think we are better as friends than we were as a married couple. We got married when we were 19 (huge mistake, I wouldn't recommend it). As we grew up we grew apart, we wanted different things out of life. The one good thing is that we have three amazing kids. They are the best thing in my life, unfortunatly I do not always make them aware of that fact. When things get rough for me they are the first to suffer. The past few months have been unusally rough around here. My job takes all my energy right now, when I get home I can't manage to do anything. I rely on the kids to do way to much, and then when it doesn't get done, or done right I take it out of them. It shouldn't be there responsiblity and yet they have had it thrust upon them. My daughter, being the oldest, has taken the brunt of my fits. She also has to listen to me complain about way to much. I hope writing about it here will get it off my chest and allow me to be a better mother to her. Time will tell.

My mother spent the weekend with us. I have a hard time with her here. She points out everything wrong in my life. As already mentioned above, my job leaves me little energy to do anything once I get home, so my house it no where near her cleanliness standards. Hell, it's not up to my standards, I just don't care right now. Last time she was here she left two days early. She was crying and saying she just couldn't be here, she just couldn't stand the way we were living and had to leave. I was looking for a repeat of that, because honestly, nothing much has changed since she was here last. I think she really struggled not to say anything this time. She went home this morning, I was so emotionally drained I couldn't face going to work. Good thing I had comp time to use before the 15th. It was a good excuse to stay home. I feel guilty staying home, but would not have gotten anything done at work. And if they had to pay me for the comp time they would have have been happy so I guess it was good for everyone.

My job is stressful in and of it self, lately this has been made worse with several changes is workers and now changes in supervisors. I keep thinking things have got to get better. The more seasoned workers laugh at me and tell my I'm overly optimistic. I hope I do not become as jaded.

Today is my youngest 12th birthday. It is hard to believe he is that old. Time has flown by. I long for the days when he would sit in my lap, let me snuggle him at bed time, when he wasn't tall enough to look me in the eye...I could go on and on. I am proud of the young man he is becoming but miss my baby!!

Well....I guess I had better go do something productive with my day....